There are four members of my family who I have never met and who I most likely will never even set eyes on: the birth parents of my children. We adopted our kids from Kazakhstan four years ago and I think almost daily about the people who created my kids, gave them safe haven before birth and brought them to a place to be cared for when they were no longer able to offer that safety. In their staggering loss they gave me the greatest gift of my life and they are part of our home, our dialogue with our kids about our family, and our hearts. We kept the names given to our kids by their birth moms (and maybe their birth dads?) so that our kids could always have a connection to the parents who were there at the very beginnings of their lives and who will forever be an essential part of our family.